The Connecticut Community Project

Daycare/Preschool/Babysitters Compendium?

I think that one of the problems with having young children in trying to figure out a reasonable place to put them in daycare and/or preschool.  Its hard to find good, quality information on various daycares and preschools, and mostly we end up relying on word-of-mouth in terms of which places are good, which places aren't, what teachers to request, and what teachers to avoid.  The same can be said for high-quality babysitters.

Though this certainly isn't a gay or lesbian family issue exclusively, its something I've been thinking about for awhile, and might want to tackle, if others are willing to share information.  What I envision is putting together a local database, of sorts, of preschools, daycares, and babysitters that members of our group can use when thinking about finding high-quality childcare.

Is anybody interested?  Any thoughts or suggestions?

Love Makes a Family Fundraiser: Sunday, June 29th in Guilford

So I am on the planning committee for a Love Makes a Family fundraiser that will be happening at the end of June in Guilford.  Last night was the planning committee meeting, and I have to say...I had a really great time.  The other folks on the planning committee are wonderful people, and the group was led by Carol Buckheit, the Associate Director of Love Makes a Family, who is a charismatic leader.

The theme of the event is a Mexican Fiesta, and given that it will be held on a Sunday afternoon in late June at a beautiful home in the country in Connecticut, I think its worth putting on your calendar.  We have a goal to raise at least $8000, so please help us to do that by coming to the event (or, if you can't make it, making a donation). 

Though kids would certainly be welcome if you can't find a babysitter, I think it would be much more fun to attend as a 'grown-ups party'.  So, start looking for a babysitter now.

If you are interested in attending, please let me know your address, and I will send you a formal invitation complete with RSVP.  Or, you can contact Carol Buckheit directly at 860-525-7777, x313 or carol@lmfct.org and she'll send you an invitation, too.

Community Profile: Kristin and Kim

In continuing with the small tradition I've started to highlight members of our group, I've decided to turn the microscope on our family.  So, here it goes:

Kim and I met eight years ago at Edgerton Park in New Haven while walking our dogs.  As far as I was concerned, Kim was enormously stand-offish, and didn't bother to interact with the rest of the early-morning dog walking crowd.  But, I loved her the minute I saw her, I'm quite sure, as on most mornings she was decked out in a Stanford sweatshirt with a cup of coffee in her hand and looked extremely athletic.  She didn't pay me much attention, as she thought the Yale dog-walking crowd was 'pretentious' and I looked 'straight' to her anyway.

Nearly nine months later (after ignoring each other frequently at the park), we met again at Frontrunners New Haven (corner of Cottage and Lawrence, to be exact), and that was all she wrote.  I reminded her that we had met months before in the park, and she had absolutely no recollection of me (wish I were more memorable) other than remembering my dog's name.

Its now been eight years and two children.  We have two daughters:  ages 4 and 2.  We chose a known donor to be our children's father, and I'm happy to say that the three of us are all active parents in the girls' lives.  Though I thought it would be burdensome to have a third parent, I actually think it has many advantages, with the best one being that the girls are loved that much more.

As I mentioned in the very first post of this Community Project blog, the reason I started this group is because we recently moved to a seemingly very homophobic neighborhood, and I'm hoping that my girls can develop a sense of community with other children from gay and lesbian families.

I've been keeping a blog on our family for the past couple of years (since Maisie was born), and you are all welcome to check that out, if you'd like.  I would also encourage you to start blogs, as well, as its a great way to stay in touch with family, connect to other parents, and chronicle your kids' lives (if that's of interest).  I'd be happy to help you get going, if you're interested.

Two of Most Things

Memorial Day Barbecue

What a wonderful afternoon for a picnic!  Susan and Lydia Smith-Franks were kind enough to have everybody over to their house today for a Community Project gathering, and it was the perfect afternoon/evening to sit in their beautiful backyard and hang out together.  Several new families were there, including my good friends from yesteryear (is that still a word?) Jean and Elizabeth, and their son Sam (pictures below).  In addition, Rachel Pepper and her daughter Frances were there, much to the delight of my 4-year old daughter, who was in love with Frances.

It seemed that a good number of people in the group had just graduated from one thing or another in the past week--several from various graduate degrees at Southern (nursing, public health, and business).  Also, several were in the process of moving from one house to another (and, sadly, one family from Connecticut to California), so it seemed like a barbecue full of transitions.

Several people mentioned that they would still like to go to Lake Compounce, so if you would be interested in a trip there, let me know (our family went yesterday and had a great time).

Also, please feel free to let me know if you'd like to host an event, or if you have an idea for a group get-together.  It can be something as small as a playdate, or something larger such as a barbecue or planned outing.  The sky's the limit, and its always nice to get together and see each other.







 

Some great Memorial Day weekend activities

1.  The New Haven farmer's market is in full swing on Saturday mornings, and its really a fantastic thing.  If you haven't yet been, you should really stop by and check it out.  Its on Saturday mornings in Wooster Square from 9-1.  There's all kinds of fresh fruits and vegetables, cheeses, yougurts, honey, baked goods, and all kinds of other wonderful things.  And, the community is great, too.  I always run into people I've known at various times in my life in New Haven, and its a wonderful sense of community.  Plus, there is a great playground just down the street from the farmer's market where all of us parental types hang out and drink coffee.  Check out the CitySeed website here.  I hope to see you all there this Saturday!

2.  Also, a new playground opened in Cheshire, and we really like it.  Its one of these 'Boundless Playgrounds', and they just had the grand opening last weekend.  I was really pretty impressed, though we weren't able to stay long due to an impending thunder storm.  We plan to head back again this weekend.  The playground will be especially nice once they take the 'bubble' off the big indoor pool that is next to the park, so we can start swimmming outside again (and, the Cheshire pool is really something to check out, too.  You can pay a moderate non-Cheshire resident fee, and you get to use the pool for a day.  Its really a beautiful pool that has a baby and toddler area).

3.  Finally, don't forget about the Memorial Day barbecue.  If you are interested in coming, but don't have the specific details, email me!

I hope to see you all this weekend!

SAVE THE DATE: LOVE MAKES A FAMILY GATHERING IN GUILFORD

Dear Community Project folks,

Love Makes A Family is hosting a fundraiser in Guilford in late June, and it might be a nice opportunity for us all to get together (sans kids) for a nice afternoon.  I'll send a formal announcement out soon, but let's all work on getting babysitters now so that we can enjoy our time together in June.

Here's the event:

You are invited to a Mexican Fiesta
to benefit the freedom to marry!

Join us for a festive backyard party with traditional 
Southwestern food and drinks, live music,
and mingling with other equality supporters!

 Sunday, June 29^th from 3-6pm

At the home of Fran Rzeznik & Zinka Benton
Guilford,  CT

Save the date! Details to follow soon. For information, contact Carol Buckheit at 860-525-7777, x313 or carol@lmfct.org

Next Community Project Gathering: Memorial Day Barbecue

Our next Community Project gathering will be a barbecue at the home of Susan and Lydia Smith-Franks in Hamden. The barbecue/potluck will be on Memorial Day Monday, beginning around 3:00 pm.

As always, all are welcome.

If you are interested in coming but aren't on the Community Project email list, let me know and I'll give you directions to the gathering. Email me at kristinmattocks@yahoo.com

Looking forward to seeing everyone again!

Weekend Activity: Spring Fair

My daughter's preschool in New Haven is having its annual Spring Fair fundraiser this Saturday, May 17th.  If you have young kids, and you're looking for something to do on Saturday morning/afternoon, please stop by for a few hours.  There's lots of fun stuff to do--pony rides, food, crafts, games, and a tag sale with lots of kids items.

The flyer for the event is here, in case you're considering comin' on down...Download leila_day_spring_fair.pdf

Community Profile: Kevin and Jeffrey

One of the great things about the Community Project so far is that it has brought together a wonderful mix of gay and lesbian folks in Connecticut.  Most people have kids, but a good number don't.  Some of those that don't are considering parenthood, while others are sympathetic to our cause but aren't interested in becoming parents. 

Among those that are parents, we have parents that have four kids, and soon-to-be parents, who are expecting their first child, either through pregnancy or adoption.  We have parents in their 40s and 50s, and parents in their 20s.  We have single parents, two-parent families, and three parent families.  We have folks that live in and around New Haven, and folks that live throughout Connecticut.

One of the great couples I've met is Jeffrey and Kevin.  Read their profile below, and look to meet them at our next gathering.  They really are a great couple, and I look forward to dishing all kinds of parenting advice when their adoption goes through later this year.

Proof that internet dating can actually work, Kevin and Jeffrey met on
Match.com two years ago.  It was the first internet date for both of
them and an instant match.  Jeffrey is originally from small town Oregon
and Kevin from a small island off the Virginia coast. 

Yale brought Jeffrey to New Haven and Kevin was quick to follow although he still
commutes into Manhattan daily for work.  Last June they bought a home
in Westville where they successfully integrated a cat and dog, Kitty and
Eli.

They are nearing the end of their home study process and are excited
about taking the next steps toward adoption.  In the meantime they
secretly contemplate kidnapping their friends Lisa and Juli's twins (see them below with
the twins).

A couple of upcoming events to put on your calendars

First, Saturday, May 17th marks 'opening day' for CitySeed, which is the New Haven farmer's market. We make a regular date on Saturday mornings to visit the farmer's market and then head over to the playground in Worcester Square to let the kids play and hang out with friends. It would be great to meet other Community Project families for the farmer's market and to hang out and drink coffee. Put this on your calendars for the rest of the summer--if you haven't yet been to this farmer's market, you've gotta check it out.

Second, a couple of upcoming events in June worth mentioning. We are planning a joint gathering with WeWok (We are Everywhere With Our Kids) on June 21st at the Mystic Seaport. This will be a great opportunity to hang out with queer families from Southeastern Connecticut, and check out the Seaport area if you haven't yet been (which I haven't). I'm really looking forward to this.

Finally, Love Makes A Family is hosting a fun Mexican fiesta event in Guilford on June 29th. It sounds like it will be a fancy fundraiser (I'm thinking a nice thing to do sans kids), so plan on getting a babysitter between the hours of 3-6 on the 29th. I'll send out more details as they become available, but do keep the date open.